For The Ladies: 6 Key Tips To Gain Confidence

Confidence can be a defining characteristic for many individuals. As a quality, it’s desirable, both in ourselves and others. This self-assurance gives you the courage to explore, communicate, lead, advance, and ultimately be yourself. With something as powerful as that, you’ll want to learn six key tips to gaining confidence in yourself. 

1.   Determine what you want.

Being confident in our own decisions can be difficult. Fear of doing or saying the wrong thing will keep women quiet in the face of opportunity. Some women find this specifically difficult in work settings with male-dominated cultures. Have you ever held back an opinion or suggestion in a business or social setting out of fear? Life will bring nearly 35,000 decisions across your path every day; how can you possibly be prepared to make them as they come? 

First, start determining what you want in life. It can be hard to come up with an answer or decide in the heat of the moment. This becomes even more difficult if internally you’re unsure about your wants and needs. Instead, work on understanding your identity. 

Before you enter situations, think positively about how you might affirm yourself and your values. When the time comes to interject an opinion, don’t think about influencing pressures. You’ll often feel more insecure when you’re just reflecting on somebody else. As you put this to practice, slowly but surely, you’ll begin to trust your gut and build confidence in speaking your mind. 

2.   Dress well.

Dressing well might initially seem superficial, but it is a real strategy to build confidence. There’s a real psychological impact known as the enclothed cognition effect. Two psychologists, Hajo Adams and Adam Galinsky found that a person’s clothing can have a powerful influence over how they act and think. Furthermore, we see increased levels of trust and appeal in those who dress in a specific way. 

If you’re a woman who struggles with confidence, being strategic with your wardrobe can help immensely. You can look at women in your own life or even find a reference online who emulates the mood or tone you want to convey but also be sure never to compare yourself to another person. Take pride in your internal and external identity. When others see that you value yourself, they will have more reason to follow.

3.   Track your goals and celebrate your victories. 

Tracking your goals and victories gives you perspective on what you accomplish. Maybe you’re a long-term stay-at-home mom looking to rejoin the workforce, or perhaps you’re in your early career looking to advance. Progression can seem daunting. A lack of confidence undermines your abilities by selling you the lie that you aren’t capable. This couldn’t be further from the truth. 

When you first wake up, sit down and write out your goals. You can start small and then begin to expand over time. When you review, instead of just focusing on the tasks, also think about the qualities you exemplify in completing them: consistency, tenacity, enthusiasm, hunger, drive, etc. 

Celebrate your victories to reinforce the accomplishments in your mind. In time, you’ll build confidence through positive reinforcement. You’ll trust that when you set your mind to something, you have every ability to see it through. 

4.   Practice affirming yourself.

As a woman, you need to start affirming yourself. A study by the NOW Foundation reported that 53% of 13-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies, that number rising to 78% by 17. In an age of social media, polls show that women are more negatively impacted by usage. 

Studies also show that men overestimate their ability on average, while women often underestimate themselves. Psychologically, we can see that women need positive encouragement. 

Take time out of your day to reinforce your self-image. Finding a community of people who can pour into you will always be an excellent resource for empowering you, but don’t forget to love yourself. When you begin to have negative thoughts, take some time for self-care. Experience the feelings, then learn to let them go. Find honest ways to compliment yourself and build up your confidence. 

5.   Make a habit of affirming others.

Start affirming those around you. This practice goes hand-in-hand with affirming yourself. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others. People who constantly judge others around them often do so in response to their own insecurities. A practice of extending grace and affirmation to others helps you to do the same for yourself.

6.   Keep learning and growing. 

Lastly, don’t ever stop growing. Today’s opportunity for education and advancement is greater than at any time in history. A world of learning exists at your very fingertips. When you feel yourself becoming complacent in life, find a challenge and overcome it. What do you long to accomplish? What new hobby can you start? Where haven’t you explored yet? As you add to your individual experience, your confidence will expand. 


Today is a great day to start believing in yourself. All it takes are small steps, things you can do daily. This process just recognises what has already been there from the start. Building a healthy and positive mindset will drive you to reach incredible goals. Follow these six steps, and I promise you’ll be well on your way to a confident life.