What does it mean to commit to living the life you want?
When a person commits to living the life they want, they go after their goals, hopes, and dreams without any hesitation. Instead of seeing everything that could go wrong or stop them from finding success, they focus solely on achieving those goals and building the life they want.
Committing to living the life you want requires visualization – a person with this level of commitment can see their future clearly because they’ve spent time understanding exactly what they want to achieve. With that picture of the future in mind, they’ve also calculated the different steps they’ll need to take to make that visualization a reality.
Most importantly, a person who commits to living the life they want doesn’t make any excuses about why they “can’t” do something. This person goes after their goals and dreams wholeheartedly and doesn’t allow any negative naysaying to slow them down. Instead of imposing self-limiting thoughts on themselves or talking themselves out of making a choice for their future, they go for it with all their energy and might.
Why do people make excuses instead of living the life they really want?
There are a number of reasons why a person will make excuses instead of going after the life they really want.
- Societal pressure
Sometimes pressure from society – including pressure from family and friends – can persuade a person to not chase after the life they really, truly want. Whether the life they want is very different from what’s expected of them or if it goes against the beliefs of their community, the societal pressure to conform to a specific way of life can stop a person from going after what they really want.
- Low self-esteem
Some people flat-out believe that they can’t go after the life they really want. When they envision their perfect life, they may believe they aren’t “good enough” or “smart enough” to go after those kinds of goals and dreams. Before they even start the process of living the life they want, they allow their low self-esteem to stop them in their tracks.
- Fear of the unknown
Even when a person really wants a certain lifestyle to be their reality, the idea of going for it may feel frightening because it requires them to explore unknown territory. The prospect of going after something unfamiliar and uncertain can frighten them away from living the life they really want.
- The facade of the comfort zone
Many people feel comfortable in the lives they already live. When their life is predictable and routine, why would they ever want to change it?
Unfortunately, just because a person is comfortable doesn’t mean they’re living the life they really want. Feeling comfortable is a big excuse for not going after what they really want in life.
What are some strategies for learning how to commit to living the life you want without any excuses?
Learning how to stop making excuses can be challenging, but it is possible to start living the life you really want without holding yourself back. To get started, consider the following strategies:
- Allow your “what if” thinking to also consider the positive possibilities.
Humans tend to gravitate toward negative thinking when they start dreaming up different “what ifs” about their futures. This isn’t always a bad thing – it’s natural to want to keep yourself safe from potential danger. However, this negative thinking can’t dominate your mind when you want to go after the life you want.
As you allow negative “what if” scenarios to enter your brain, it’s important to also give space for the positive “what ifs.” For example, you may think “if I try that new activity, I might fail.” That’s possible, but since you aren’t a fortune-teller, it’s important to also consider the equally possible positive outcome: “If I try that new activity, I might have a really great time and enjoy it”!
- Start going after the life you want with small steps first.
If the idea of jumping full-on into the life you want feels shocking and scary, give yourself permission to start small. For example, you can start by changing parts of your wardrobe to better suit the lifestyle you want to live.
Another option involves changing your living space to reflect the life you want – these changes are small, personal ways to get started and embolden yourself to keep going after those bigger changes.
- Use a mantra to refocus your thinking and keep you on path toward living the life you want.
Mantras are powerful mental tools. Using a mantra can help refocus your stressed brain and remind you of what you’re doing and why – an especially helpful practice when you’re trying to do something challenging, like ditching excuses to go after the life you want.
For example, if you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed and tempted to back away from going after something you want in life, stop what you’re doing and repeat your mantra to yourself. Some possible mantras include:
- I deserve the life I want.
- I can do hard things.
- Difficulties don’t stop me.
- I choose the life I want to live.
- …and many more!
- Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
Exiting the comfort zone is one of the biggest obstacles toward living the life you want. Wanting to stay in your comfort zone is tempting – after all, it’s comfortable there! What better excuse is there to avoid going after the life you really want when you can hang out in your comfort zone risk-free?
It’s important to remember that the comfort zone is a bit like a mirage. On the outside, it seems like a safe spot to hide, but it has some insidious undertones. Inside your comfort zone, you’re never challenged to try new things or learn new skills. You may feel comfortable, but you never grow as a person.
Because of this, it’s important to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Allow yourself to adjust to exiting your comfort zone – it’s the only way you can successfully embark on your journey toward living the life you really want because it destroys one of the biggest excuses there is!