How Can I Prevent My Child From Becoming a People Pleaser?

People-pleasing is a habit that can occur in adults and children depending on their situations. 

It often happens in children due to a need they may not be getting from their parents, whether purposeful or not. There are, however, ways to prevent your child from becoming a people pleaser.

Teach Them That Not Everyone Will Like Them. 

Many people go to school thinking everyone will like them and enjoy the things they want. It is especially true if they have never been to daycare or are an only child. It’s essential to teach them that it is okay if someone does not like them.

Encourage Them to Stand Out from the Crowd

Teaching them early on that it is okay to be different is an integral part of preventing people-pleasing. If they know that it is okay to stand out and be independent, they are less likely to need the praise of others.

When Disciplining a Child, Do Not Make it About You.

Children are going to make messes and mistakes. That is the nature of learning to be independent and growing up. When they make mistakes, be sure you discipline them for their behaviour and not for intruding on your time.

Do Not Issue Threats

It is easy when a child is doing something terrible to threaten them about not doing it again. For example, “If you do that again, you will….” This action breeds people-pleasing behaviour as they will learn that they will get a punishment if they do not please you.

Praise Your Children, Just Do Not Go Overboard

Children need to hear more praise than reprimand. It is essential to ensure that the recognition is healthy and does not go overboard. Giving too much praise for minor things can turn them into people-pleasers who crave that praise. 

Lead by Example

Children are naturally intuitive about the things they see and hear around them. Because of this, it is vital to show them how to help others positively and healthily. If you sacrifice everything to help others, they will grow up doing the same thing.

Are you a people pleaser? Take this 2-minute quiz to find out.

Overall, raising a child to be a kind, helpful, loving, and generous person is a parent’s primary job. It would help if you also taught them that while helping others is good, they should also take care of themselves. 

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