Human beings are highly social creatures who develop many relationships throughout their lives. As you meet new people, some of your relationships, such as your best friends and romantic partners, will become intimate and serious.
Others will be formal, such as your coworkers or supervisors. Some will be cordial, like the neighbours that live two houses from you or the guy who works at your local coffee shop.
Regardless of who you meet or how serious the relationships you form become, there’s always a way to divide these many connections: Those that are right for you and wrong for you. Differentiating the right relationships from the wrong ones is a crucial skill to excel in life.
What does it mean to identify the “right” and “wrong” people for you?
“Right” and “wrong” can assume a variety of definitions by different people. Since all human beings are unique and have their preferences, quirks, and traits, some people will mesh well with them while others do not.
While many traits could cause someone to fall under the “right” or “wrong” categories, consider the following examples:
People who are right for you may:
- Consider your feelings before acting or speaking
- Support and encourage you
- Pay you compliments and make you feel good about yourself
- I want to see you find success and happiness
- Listen to you and engage in thoughtful conversations with you
- ….and many more!
People who are wrong for you may:
- Say rude, snide, or offhand comments that make you feel bad about yourself
- Treat you as if you aren’t that important to them
- Verbally or physically abuse you
- Make you feel like you aren’t good enough
- Put their interests or needs first before considering yours
- ….and many more!
You can use many factors to determine if someone is the right person or the wrong person to have in your life. The most important aspect of this practice is ensuring that you’re learning and defining what constitutes “right” and “wrong” for you – learning how to foster good relationships with the right people (and protect yourself from forming toxic relationships with the wrong people) is a critical component in excelling in life.
What constitutes “right” and “wrong” can differ from person to person – this is why it’s essential to gauge what makes a person right or wrong for you.
What are the benefits of learning to identify the right and wrong people for you?
Learning how to define and identify the right and wrong people for you offers a variety of benefits. For example…
- You protect yourself from draining and exhausting toxic relationships.
Toxic relationships cause a lot of heartache, stress, and strife. When someone is toxic, they aren’t interested in building a solid and trusting relationship. Instead, they’re only interested in masquerading as a trustworthy comrade so they can use you to their advantage. When you can quickly identify the right and wrong people for you, it’s much easier to avoid any potential toxic relationships before they have a chance to begin.
- You learn a lot about the world from people you can trust.
Choosing the right people to be in your life opens many doors. As your relationships become more profound, you learn much about other people’s cultures, opinions, perspectives, and knowledge. As you build more good relationships with the right people, it widens your worldview.
- You develop a super strong support system.
Identifying and fostering healthy relationships with the right people for you helps you build and establish a great support system. Your support system, or a group of people who can help you when you need assistance, is necessary to work through tough times and persevere. Finding help and advice from folks you can trust is a valuable asset for excelling in life.
How can you develop a stronger ability to identify the right and wrong people for you?
Identifying which people are right and wrong for you takes time and practice. You may accidentally intermingle with folks who are not suitable for you, but these experiences are part of the learning process. To sharpen your skills at identifying right and wrong people for you, consider the following strategies:
- Determine what traits are most important to you in a trusting relationship.
Whether you’re building a friendship, a professional relationship, or a romantic relationship, knowing what traits you value most in the other person is essential in determining whether they’re right or wrong for you. When you have a solid understanding of what’s most valuable to you, it’s easier to actively seek those traits in the early stages of new relationships.
- Get comfortable with setting and enforcing your boundaries.
An excellent strategy for determining which people are right and wrong for you is observing their ability to respect your boundaries. However, to have those boundaries in place, getting comfortable with the setting and enforcing them is essential.
Practice communicating your boundaries with others and gauge their reactions to them – you’ll learn a lot about whether someone is right or wrong for you by their willingness to respect your boundaries.
- Learn how to trust your intuition.
Your intuition (also known as gut feelings or instincts) is a powerful personal tool. If you’re ignoring or silencing your intuition, give it a chance to speak to you, especially when you’re getting to know someone new.
Your intuition can often give you signals about a person in the early stages of your relationship. If your instinct is giving you positive signs, listen to them. If your intuition is giving you negative signals, listen to them – you may be sensing something off about the person in the way they present themselves that could constitute a “red flag.”